Tonkrawyat is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, contented swallow.

Tonkrawyat created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkrawyat, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonkrawyat, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Tonkrawyat's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Tonkrawyat's Holy Commandments

1. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always obey Tonkrawyat's priests.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Tonkrawyat on top of all buildings.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not eat peanuts.