Jipvonbig is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, weak human.

Jipvonbig created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipvonbig, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jipvonbig, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Jipvonbig's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Jipvonbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Never hurt capybaras.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.