Tanjonarf is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, stupid porpoise.

Tanjonarf created a top quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanjonarf, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tanjonarf, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tanjonarf's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Tanjonarf's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tanjonarf.

2. Do not wear red clothing.

3. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always look after injured swans.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.