Xenmob is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, egotistical tortoise.

Xenmob created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenmob, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Xenmob, it will turn you into a plant.

Xenmob's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Xenmob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine shrews in a large pit.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near ducks while wearing blue kilts.

4. Never paint your neck magenta.

5. Always treat birds with great respect.