Mobtonkmif is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, idiotic swan.

Mobtonkmif created carbon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mobtonkmif, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mobtonkmif, she will strike you with lightening.

Mobtonkmif's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Mobtonkmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Never feed lentils to gulls while wearing orange boots.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Hide from gray manatees for they are unholy.

5. Do not take Mobtonkmif's name in vain.