Sagdosspakbankomjat Nibdamcun is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, unthinking gnu.

Sagdosspakbankomjat Nibdamcun created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sagdosspakbankomjat Nibdamcun, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sagdosspakbankomjat Nibdamcun, he will manifest in front of you.

Sagdosspakbankomjat Nibdamcun's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Sagdosspakbankomjat Nibdamcun's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise eagles, for they are unholy.

2. Hide from magenta mites for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never eat turnips.