Gomtimtonk Bimstignel Vedzigvig is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, passionate beaver.

Gomtimtonk Bimstignel Vedzigvig created dark matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomtimtonk Bimstignel Vedzigvig, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gomtimtonk Bimstignel Vedzigvig, he will turn you into a rat.

Gomtimtonk Bimstignel Vedzigvig's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Gomtimtonk Bimstignel Vedzigvig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Gomtimtonk Bimstignel Vedzigvig on top of all buildings.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Never hurt snails.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never talk about nematodes.