Cibgarcep is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, tiresome hyena.

Cibgarcep created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cibgarcep, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cibgarcep, she will turn you into a rat.

Cibgarcep's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Cibgarcep's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime.

2. Never think about special relativity near sheep while wearing turquoise corsets and balancing eight nickel spheres on your neck.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Respect your elders.