Cissvilbossbap is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, moody grasshopper.

Cissvilbossbap created the planet Venus five million years ago.

If you believe in Cissvilbossbap, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cissvilbossbap, he will cry a lot.

Cissvilbossbap's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Cissvilbossbap's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine snails approach from the south.

2. You must never eat melons.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Squirrels are not to be trusted.