Nelquaghad is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, vain dog.

Nelquaghad created the Milkyway seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelquaghad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nelquaghad, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nelquaghad's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Nelquaghad's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never mention birds.

5. Never look at nebulae.