Spagbatsom is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, strong chicken.

Spagbatsom created humankind five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagbatsom, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Spagbatsom, he will be very sad.

Spagbatsom's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Spagbatsom's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never write about chlorophyll.

5. Never write about planets.