Gedkaptaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, omnipotent monkey.

Gedkaptaf created light six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedkaptaf, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gedkaptaf, he will refuse to believe in you.

Gedkaptaf's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Gedkaptaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Erect four silicon sculptures of Gedkaptaf on top of important buildings.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near ants while wearing yellow coats and balancing seven iron spheres on your head.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.