Sityamlag is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, self-assured dolphin.

Sityamlag created Europe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sityamlag, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sityamlag, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Sityamlag's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Sityamlag's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Run away if three ducks approach from the north.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Erect five copper sculptures of Sityamlag on top of important buildings.