Nurlfarnbad Sakxuckyak Dobstigmin is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, smart dove.

Nurlfarnbad Sakxuckyak Dobstigmin created viruses eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlfarnbad Sakxuckyak Dobstigmin, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nurlfarnbad Sakxuckyak Dobstigmin, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nurlfarnbad Sakxuckyak Dobstigmin's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Nurlfarnbad Sakxuckyak Dobstigmin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nurlfarnbad Sakxuckyak Dobstigmin.

4. Do not keep four voles in a large pit.

5. Run away from green turtles, for they are unholy.