Witpidbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, uncaring donkey.

Witpidbeg created carbon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witpidbeg, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Witpidbeg, it will remove you from existence.

Witpidbeg's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Witpidbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Witpidbeg loves geese, so they must be respected.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near voles while wearing orange rings and balancing three copper spheres on your hands.