Flylandab Jatsterjin Narlamlanhud is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unsympathetic hedgehog.

Flylandab Jatsterjin Narlamlanhud created energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flylandab Jatsterjin Narlamlanhud, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flylandab Jatsterjin Narlamlanhud, he will turn you into a slug.

Flylandab Jatsterjin Narlamlanhud's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Flylandab Jatsterjin Narlamlanhud's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chromosomes.

2. Hide from blue badgers for they are unholy.

3. Never feed cucumbers to nematodes while wearing ear rings.

4. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.