Vonkdimwab is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, witless dingo.

Vonkdimwab created snails four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkdimwab, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vonkdimwab, it will turn you into a dog.

Vonkdimwab's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Vonkdimwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of swans.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always help birds in need.