Sashivteen is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, two-faced jaguar.

Sashivteen created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sashivteen, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sashivteen, he will turn you into a slug.

Sashivteen's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Sashivteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moths.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Never pour water over plants.