Dussbapdav Xemxucnilmutpangjab is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, unjust naga.

Dussbapdav Xemxucnilmutpangjab created the world eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dussbapdav Xemxucnilmutpangjab, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Dussbapdav Xemxucnilmutpangjab, it will turn you into a tree.

Dussbapdav Xemxucnilmutpangjab's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Dussbapdav Xemxucnilmutpangjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark matter.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Erect four lead sculptures of Dussbapdav Xemxucnilmutpangjab on top of important buildings.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

5. Fast once a month.