Bongemcud is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, resourceful narwhal.

Bongemcud created the Black Eye Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bongemcud, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bongemcud, he will not care.

Bongemcud's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bongemcud's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bongemcud.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never feed onions to cats while wearing gray shorts.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.