Konbumstragbonklatcunflam is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, fast snail.

Konbumstragbonklatcunflam created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Konbumstragbonklatcunflam, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Konbumstragbonklatcunflam, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Konbumstragbonklatcunflam's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Konbumstragbonklatcunflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peas.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Never eat bark.