Nurtfunren is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, deceitful hare.

Nurtfunren created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtfunren, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nurtfunren, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nurtfunren's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Nurtfunren's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never write about quantum mechanics.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never jump near voles.

5. Never pour water over plants.