Gepsakgun is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, emotional mink.

Gepsakgun created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Gepsakgun, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gepsakgun, he will turn you into a goat.

Gepsakgun's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Gepsakgun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not take Gepsakgun's name in vain.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Always help sick monkeys.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.