Fossveenvintaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unsympathetic fish.

Fossveenvintaf created the Virgo Supercluster four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fossveenvintaf, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fossveenvintaf, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fossveenvintaf's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Fossveenvintaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Fossveenvintaf.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.
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