Nelsigbast is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, omniscient rhinoceros.

Nelsigbast created oxygen six million years ago.

If you believe in Nelsigbast, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nelsigbast, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Nelsigbast's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Nelsigbast's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five snakes in a large pit.

2. Always look after injured porpoises.

3. Never feed spinach to sheep while wearing boots.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.