Homtonkjat is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, quiet whale.

Homtonkjat created vertebrates eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Homtonkjat, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Homtonkjat, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Homtonkjat's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Homtonkjat's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured mice.

2. Never mention ants.

3. Homtonkjat loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Worship no other gods but Homtonkjat.