Bempidgab is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, annoying scorpion.

Bempidgab created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bempidgab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bempidgab, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bempidgab's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Bempidgab's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lemons.

2. Hide from cyan horses for they are unholy.

3. Never feed cucumbers to dolphins while wearing purple coats.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.