Mumladyak is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, loving zebra.

Mumladyak created the universe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumladyak, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mumladyak, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Mumladyak's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Mumladyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Mumladyak loves geese, so they must be respected.