Wipsanquat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, happy bee.

Wipsanquat created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wipsanquat, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Wipsanquat, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Wipsanquat's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Wipsanquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to seals while wearing turquoise scarves.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always obey Wipsanquat's priests.

4. Worship no other gods but Wipsanquat.

5. Never leap in the presence of squirrels.