Dissuggum is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, all-powerful fish.

Dissuggum created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dissuggum, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dissuggum, it will turn you into a slug.

Dissuggum's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Dissuggum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. You must never eat melons.

3. Run away from turquoise squirrels, for they are unholy.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not cook food in pots.