Labcamweg is a god.

She takes the form of a large, self-assured centipede.

Labcamweg created bats two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Labcamweg, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Labcamweg, she will be very sad.

Labcamweg's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Labcamweg's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never feed pineapples to pigs while wearing blue stockings.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Labcamweg.

5. Do not speak about onions.