Kikdossfum Lakgemtaf is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, humane ferret.

Kikdossfum Lakgemtaf created matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikdossfum Lakgemtaf, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kikdossfum Lakgemtaf, it will turn you into a slug.

Kikdossfum Lakgemtaf's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Kikdossfum Lakgemtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.