Nartvanstip is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, ill-tempered octopus.

Nartvanstip created carbon two years ago.

If you believe in Nartvanstip, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nartvanstip, it will turn you into a duck.

Nartvanstip's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Nartvanstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always wear black.

4. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.