Honnurtvid is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unthoughtful rhinoceros.

Honnurtvid created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Honnurtvid, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Honnurtvid, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Honnurtvid's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Honnurtvid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Worship no other gods but Honnurtvid.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. You must never eat spinach.

5. You must love Honnurtvid.