Cambonkran is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, proud narwhal.

Cambonkran created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cambonkran, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cambonkran, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cambonkran's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Cambonkran's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cucumbers.

2. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Cambonkran in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Cambonkran in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always stare at clouds.