Ortjipbed is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, self-confident crow.

Ortjipbed created the universe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortjipbed, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ortjipbed, he will turn you into a snail.

Ortjipbed's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Ortjipbed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never go into blue rooms.

4. Never think about nucleic acids.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.