Vigtarvad is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, sage hamster.

Vigtarvad created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vigtarvad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vigtarvad, it will turn you into a dog.

Vigtarvad's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Vigtarvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Do not eat corn.

3. Vigtarvad loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

4. Never think ill of sick goats.

5. Fast once a month.