Higxen is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, caring pig.

Higxen created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Higxen, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Higxen, he will turn you into a puffin.

Higxen's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Higxen's Holy Commandments

1. Put Higxen first in all things.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never run in the presence of monkeys.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.