Kabnaddob Vagsafhas is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, ill-tempered swan.

Kabnaddob Vagsafhas created the Andromeda Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabnaddob Vagsafhas, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kabnaddob Vagsafhas, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Kabnaddob Vagsafhas' most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Kabnaddob Vagsafhas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about dolphins.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Never leap in holy places.