Wiktoflig Cedmabrull is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, strong cow.

Wiktoflig Cedmabrull created time and space seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wiktoflig Cedmabrull, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wiktoflig Cedmabrull, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Wiktoflig Cedmabrull's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Wiktoflig Cedmabrull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Put Wiktoflig Cedmabrull first in all things.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not speak about beans.