Kamwatvag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, amazing cobra.

Kamwatvag created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Kamwatvag, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kamwatvag, it will curse you with boils.

Kamwatvag's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Kamwatvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snakes.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.