Babsigtun is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, awe-inspiring monkey.

Babsigtun created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Babsigtun, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Babsigtun, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Babsigtun's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Babsigtun's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always help sick cats.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.