Tonjopvil is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, unthoughtful eagle.

Tonjopvil created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonjopvil, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tonjopvil, it will turn you into a sheep.

Tonjopvil's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Tonjopvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near nematodes while wearing cyan coats and balancing six tin spheres on your back.

2. Always help dolphins.

3. Never wear violet kilts.

4. Never run near voles.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.