Bonkbellbog is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, blissful shark.

Bonkbellbog created vertebrates three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkbellbog, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bonkbellbog, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bonkbellbog's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Bonkbellbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about bananas.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bonkbellbog.