Vonkflabbestarncisslenkinciss is a god.

He takes the form of a large, vain bear.

Vonkflabbestarncisslenkinciss created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkflabbestarncisslenkinciss, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vonkflabbestarncisslenkinciss, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Vonkflabbestarncisslenkinciss' most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Vonkflabbestarncisslenkinciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Run away from black great tits, for they are unholy.

5. Always stare at clouds.