Wanhitpinmat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, competent toad.

Wanhitpinmat created a bottom quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wanhitpinmat, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Wanhitpinmat, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Wanhitpinmat's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Wanhitpinmat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine tortoises approach from the west.

2. Never write about photosynthesis.

3. Never hop in holy places.

4. Always help porpoises.

5. Put Wanhitpinmat first in all things.