Janhaplak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonest chicken.

Janhaplak created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Janhaplak, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Janhaplak, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Janhaplak's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Janhaplak's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never write about bacteria.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never think about chromosomes.