Sabwadjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, self-assured grasshopper.

Sabwadjarn created the Cigar Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabwadjarn, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sabwadjarn, it will not care.

Sabwadjarn's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Sabwadjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not take Sabwadjarn's name in vain.

4. Never think about optics.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.