Yogkambad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, sage seal.

Yogkambad created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yogkambad, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yogkambad, it will destroy your favourite star.

Yogkambad's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Yogkambad's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt snakes.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. You must pray to Yogkambad five times a day.

5. Yogkambad must be the most important thing in your life.