Bembagtom Dobsadpan is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, blissful frog.

Bembagtom Dobsadpan created an atom nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bembagtom Dobsadpan, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bembagtom Dobsadpan, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Bembagtom Dobsadpan's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Bembagtom Dobsadpan's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.